Wednesday, November 03, 2004


maybe its all the migraine-killers i've been taking. forgot about those until they stopped killing and the migraine army decided on revenge.

you're just like an angel

having a raiohead kind of day. not really in a bad way. may have to do with the whole sleeping with cnn on thing. also got some great work news-no more crying here. its a bit chilly and rained last night. and i spent an hour on the phone with a friend switching news programs to see how many different results we could get. seriously. every channel was different. i think 7 agreed with cbs. 2 was always way up. and 4 was in the middle. 5 likes commercials. i think all these have brought a calmness. maybe whatever i listened to this am made a difference also.

ah the cold. was going to wear skirts and boots lots this year. right now i am nursing a knee weirdness. my boots go well with knees that work. flats go well with those that don't, so i wore my skirt with flats the other day. no worries, i had fishnets.

my closet has become a bit of a surprise. besides the moving-and-not-really-knowing-where-stuff-is-yet thing and the weather change, i had gained, um, some, weight and was quite stubborn in the buying of new clothes. then i bought a few pairs of pants. so now i have all different sizes. but now i have joined weight watchers to try and lose the weight i gained and the weight i was already trying to take off. (although i go to the gym 5-6 times a week, i am not skinny in any way. i hate to diet because ive had an eating disorder and it makes me nervous to put actual restrictions on food into my head) so now i've lost 15 pounds. i have to sit in front of my closet and try on everything to see what fits. it is strange how two pairs of pants in the same size from the same store can fit so differently.

hopes for a happy and calm day go out to all.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Reasons Many Red Sox Fans Bug Me

Besides that they won this series of course...and i will say that they played a good game and all, this is not about the game. these are all things i would have said either way.

  • okay....are we in nursery school? we deserve to win the world series because we haven't in a really long time. baseball isn't about taking turns, its about, well, baseball. the team that doesn't let that home run get hit, catches the ball correctly, etc goes on.
  • go to a bar in boston in yankees gear. get killed and drink no beer. go to a bar in new york in red sox gear, people are nice cause they feel bad for you. i know a girl in rhode island who was refused a SANDWICH at a deli for wearing a yankee hat. in rhode island. not during a game. come on people.
  • yankees are evil, but last night when the red sox won, yankee stadium played sinatra's new york, new york which is played after games the yankees win. classy gesture. never would be done in boston.
  • last defensive out, you are up by 7 with 2 guys on. change the pitcher? i know ya think you're cursed but the worst that happens is a home run. one out and 4 runs down. change the pitcher then. i'd still have hope, but then i always do.
  • is it helpful for the entire stadium to go dead when the other teams start winning? cause if boston's down a run you can hear a pin drop at fenway...
  • unless the other pitcher has a two syllable name you can whine at him. it was quite nice to see the yankee fans do it to pedro.

i guess i'll stop now. i am not saying that red sox fans don't have their yankee fan hating reasons. but these are some of mine.

congrats to the sox. GO ASTROS CARDS (I guess, I actually think they rock, but was pulling for Houston).

and i swear ill be back soon.

Friday, September 24, 2004


the other day i had a rough one. but i barely remember why anymore. because before i actually left the apartment it got terrible. no more ipod. it fell down. i hear all of these people crack their screens and the thing plays fun. nope. not mine. nothing. i found this difficult to deal with at 7:30am. i should have called in sick.

but i should have another new one soon. it seems that all the things i plan to do "eventually" have been sped up on me. i planned to move at some point. i was forced to. i planned to buy a new ipod like next march and give this one to a friend, but now its dead. this is difficult for me. i can't walk around with a cd player. no choices. i like that the shuffler doesn't see anything wrong with putting the casualties after allison krauss. i couldn't do that on my own. but now, listening to my music on my computer, i went from a pennywise cover of minor threat to ben lee to helmet. and i can live for a week on cds. maybe ill just bring ones bought since the ipod. i have many cds where i don't staart singing the next song. i have never listened to them. put them on the the ipod...done. ill manage.

spending the money on the ipod did kind of change my weekend plans though. but im sure ill find something to keep me occupied. happy friday. waited for this one all week.

Monday, September 20, 2004


i forgot to charge my ipod all weekend. i usually forget to charge on weekends probably because i can always do it later. then monday morning comes and i can't even make it into work on my battery. so this morning i was a bit more alert than usual, and the escalator ot 59th wasn't working so i wasn't moving as fast. i saw a guy carrying a bowl and spoon in his hand. not in a bag, just like he was ready to take another bite. this cracked me up.

subways were crazy all weekend. friday i tried to go home and they wanted me to go downtown to go uptown. wasn't something i was up for at the late hour. so saturday when it was again late and time to go home, cab it was again. i spent about 50 bucks on cab rides this weekend, which isn't so bad, but i prefer the subway. when i was about 16 i was in a small accident in a cab. so far i have been quite lucky on the subway. cheaper, and doesn't scare me-looks like a plan.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Daytime Fun

So work lately has been something other than great. my friends all think i have it great because i make a good amount of money. but i don't know how much i would need to be paid to stay in my department for another month. it's that bad. i am blamed for all sorts of strange things even when i forward emails with my boss telling me what to do (wrong) back to him. yet he is first to tell people that i am in error. on and on it goes. luckily i should be out of there soon. but until then, i find that going back to work after lunch is quite difficult. i have bought cookie dough, crayons, taken long walks to nowhere, etc. all to convince myself that i will make it through the afternoon.

but it will be ok soon. please. well, if it doesn't change, i'll look for a new job. because i am way too young to hate what im doing for that much of my time. i think that makes it worse. i sold out. little me would kick my ass. at least i don't wear a suit anymore. maybe it's time for a change anyway. i was hoping to last at this company for at least another year. then i will be in a better career spot where i could work at an entirely different kind of company. i have to study as part of my job, it's a long story, but then i would have reached another level. studying doesn't get done much either though. stressed all day goes more with movies and beer at night...not more stress.

so all day im kind of....annoyed i guess. i think i take it out on the tourists. i wish more people would understand that the sidewalks are more like roads here. you wouldn't just stop short and look around on a highway would ya? at least pull over. and you don't call up all your friends and drive next to each other screaming through the windows. i understand that there are times where the walk on right pass on left doesn't work, but try. for me. don't even get me started on the people handing out flyers. under the scaffolding. we need more obstacles.


i cannot be held responsible for my cell phone. i check it whenever in situations where cell phone ringing would be inappropriate...the gym (i leave it in the locker), work, movies, what have you. it seems to have a mind of its own. it randomly changes the setting. i tried to lock it (um locked it without meaning to and couldn't figure out the code to unlock it but whatever) and the ring sound still can change, which is good for when you have no idea how to unlock it and are going into, say, a church with your entire family. well, sometime between leaving the house and now, my phone decided that manner mode (just vibrate) was not proper and silent would be better. so it just started ligting up all fancy-like when mom called. oh well. no harm done.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


I saw a woman on the train with the prettiest necklace. it was simple with these 3 red flowers. I want it. if i see her with it (well, i doubt i would know it was her without it) i will ask her where it is from because i can not find anything similar. i did find pink skull drop earrings that may be perfect for me at tarina tarantino though. they are pretty skulls. pur-fect.

i must have had a rough morning-i bought cookie dough during lunch. no not cookie dough ice cream, a tube of dough. and i just remembered that in high school, my friend and i would walk to 7-11 almost every day and smoke cigarettes (marlboro reds then), eat cookie dough and drink jolt cola. one day we found that the combination was making us ill so we started drinking cola slurpees with a little cherry slurpee on top. in college we (not her and i we, but myself and others) walked to the convenient store with the cheapest smokes and everywhere else. more walking, less calories, more cigarettes, and i gained many pounds. strange.

the high school friend and i went to 7-11 before school for blow pops and jolt. mmmmmm breakfast.

Friday, September 10, 2004


i see now that there are many things that i absolutely should try to find in my many many boxes.

like my travel toiletry bottles. sounds completely like something i could do without for a while. not like i'm going anywhere. oh yeah, the gym. and i bought a 16oz conditioner that i'm carrying everywhere. with all of the rest of my "i need this every day" stuff. today i have 2 pairs of sneakers (neither being worn, of course). i don't even pack light to walk out of the house. people always ask me if i am going on vacation. nope, just the gym and work.

and i need to unpack my books so that i can put them in the bottom of my bookshelves to weigh them down and make an imprint on the carpet. cause they fall over. um...i don't remember this when i used to have carpets. these don't seem overly plush. but stuff topples. cant have that.

and although i know exactly where they are (in garbage bags on my floor of course) i need to unpack the rest of my clothes. what do normal people pack clothes/shoes/bags in? i had 20 garbage bags and only like 30 boxes. i guess if the movers didn't think it was strange, it can't be too bad.

oh and silverware maybe. i know the box says silverware, so that shouldn't be too hard. but i plan on going food shopping, take-out usually comes with utensils.

and the coffee maker. and filters. how much shall we wager that they are in different boxes?

not sure about dish soap either.

at least its friday. i can wait on the toiletry bottles until monday. but this coffee thing is getting me down.